Last week, we finally ventured into Children's Hospital. It was time. I had been waiting for the right time to feel good enough to go in.
If you remember, we rounded up a nice collection of baby toys and clothes at Abby's Remembrance Day Celebration back in March. We then brought the collection to Abby's social worker at Children's Hospital. She was excited to be able to pass them along to their patients and the patient's siblings. It was nice to see Phoebe. A darling of a girl. CHB is lucky to have her!
It was a quick moment. It wasn't overly emotional which felt kinda nice. Had we chosen an earlier time in the year, it would have been much more difficult. But the winter blues was past us and the sun was out and traveling into Boston felt welcoming.
Being in the hospital wasn't scary. We had been there about three times since last year so I think the shock of it was worn off. It was a little weird though. I had flashbacks of being there. I wanted the purpose back of having the need to be there. I would watch the children, in wheelchairs or strollers and so badly wanted that to be me pushing a wheelchair with my Abby instead. I once had someone say to me, that if Abby were alive, I would still be missing her because she would be back and forth to the hospital and that she wouldn't always be home with me. I know they meant well, they tried to make me feel better. But there is no positive spin on Abby not being here!! I know. I'm not your average mother, wishing to be able to hospital surf with my baby, but that sure sounds a lot better to me then the other hand I was dealt!!