Monday, July 16, 2012
I love speaking about Abby. About her life. About her gifts. About her treasures. And her Purple Balloon! I try my very best to do so openly and freely. "Transparency" I say.
I try my best to answer the "how many children do you have?" question. I always respond FOUR. Sometimes that's that. But then, as you know, depending on the situation, the conversation continues and more digging is needed when curiosities come up such as names, ages, etc. I say, "Emilia is 6, Lucas 5, Lily 2 and to honor my baby Abby, she died 3 months ago and was only 3 weeks old. She now lives in my heart and I include her because she is very much apart of our lives." Most people have been very gracious about my response and have been respectful and caring. I guess I've never had a 'bad experience' while answering that question, but then again, it has only been about 3.5 months.
But why does it need to be so awkward? I think it has to do with most people don't know what to say. They don't want to hurt our feelings and make us cry. On the contrary, we WANT people to speak about our Abby's. At least for me, that's how I keep her spirit alive. Whenever I see or meet an old friend or new friend for the first time, I want to reminisce her and her beautiful swift life here with me.
With that said, a few months ago, while researching grief on infancy loss, I came across The STILL Project. It has peaked my interest and I have been following its progress since.
STILL Project is about making a documentary film where it will share the stories of infant loss....something near and dear to my heart. It is a way for us to share our loss, grief, process and healing. The STILL Project will help us where we can speak freely of our experiences with no discomfort. And it will be a venue to speak globally of our babies, that YES, they did exist. They had a purpose here on earth, however short their sweet little lives were. They never leave us and are always with us in our hearts!
I wasn't sure if I would share The STILL Project with you. They have asked all bloggers to write about them to get the word out and I was hesitant. But now I am happy to. Here's why:
During the homily yesterday at Mass, our Pasteur said something very powerful
"God has given me a gift. And my gift back to God is what I do with that gift."
Today as I write my update to you all, I found myself going back to these words. God has given me The STILL Project. And my gift back to God is spreading the awareness of The STILL Project to you. And perhaps together we can make a difference in the way we speak of and receive our little Abby's.